I am so slack at updating. so ill do a quick update for my slackness. im a bit tired as it is 12:30am.
Ive been looking at DSLR's alot. Trying to find the best,for a good price,im so keen for this,but due to my anxiety and self doubt i start to wonder if this is what i want. but yes,it surely is. I guess if im going to be doing a course i want to do well and not want to drop out half way through.
I think it will be good for me,gets me out plus also gets the Lump of Meat (Brain) in my head working.
So soon ill be off taking pictures of everything and post some in here. If they are worthy of postage.
anyway im tired and hell,ill go watch movies til i fall asleep.

Here is a stupid survey/Quiz thing i did. waste of time haha.

What do you prefer when you get into a relationship?
1- Would you rather have a fun fling or a lasting relationship?	Lasting
2- What was your longest relationship?	err 7 months. heh
3-What is your favorite personality trait?	Good sense of humour
4- What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do?	I dont know,id have to be surprised by something cool then let you know
5- When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you?	communication
6- Do you like pet names (ex: baby, sweetheart...)?	i dont really like them. ha.
7- What is your ideal night out with a significant other?	anything. i guess being with them would make for an ideal night
8- What is your ideal night in with a significant other?	same as above
9- Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?	Why tell someone you love them if you dont?
10- Do you like relationships that invovle serious commitments?	errr i dont know
11- If you ever got engaged, how would you want it to happen?	again,id like a surprise
12- If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible?	depends
13- Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?	sure
14- Do you prefer a sensitive open relationship or a strong silent type?	again depends.
15- When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis?	its nice. but not really.
16- Do you like public displays of affection?	not if its something that should require being in a room.
17- Is there anything you won't tolerate while in a relationship?	Lots of things lol
18- What is one thing that you value most in a relationship?	trust
19- Would you ever be able to handle a long-distance situation?	sure
20- Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?	sure
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

I'm gunna type this out real quick so excure the mistakes.
Um,Its the last day of the year today,This year went really fast,i cant keep up.
but im kinda excited for the new year coz i have many plans i wish to cram into it.
Ive been kinda busy lately,some good some bad. generally how it goes.
I hardly update this grr,i will more often.
Im not doing anything exciting for new years,which is weird coz i recently turned 18 so u would think id be out drinking having fun
but nooo,i want to have a quiet one,which will be enjoyable enough for me.
I hope everyone has a really good and safe new years!

Here's an up to date piccccc :)

Xmas is upon us.
not overly excited about this.
and there is no-one terribly exciting to talk to on msn.
yuh.
bleh.

So after my fit yesterday,i feel a bit better today.
Besides this headache ingolfing my brain.
and i am possibly getting funds to get an slr camera
so im uber excited for that!
i cant be bother writing much.
tired-headache-bedtime brooke

This has become to much.
im sick of so much now.
i want to rant on...
Gah! im avoiding talking to people cause i always seem to be introuble!

Its like this.
You  can have your girlfriend
You can have your friends
You can make rude remarks behind my back
You can complain i dont give enough attention
You can tell me you love me,dont expect it back!
You can sleep with a porn star
You can tell me you want to end it with your girlfriend.
You can tell me you want me.
You can tell me im worthless
You can make me feel bad
I DONT CARE
IM SICK OF IT

I dont want you back if your in my past.
I can survive without the constant entertainment of other people
I do not care if you say things behind my back. if you do,shame on you!
I will no constantly give you attention,grow up.
I dont care if you get aids from the people you want to sleep with
You can break up with your girlfriend,i dont care??
I do not want to be with anyone
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if i am nice. its cause i like you and im in a good mood.
if i am unpleasant to you,im tired of listening to you.
If i am straight up rude,IM FRIGGIN SICK OF YOU.
Leave me alone if your going to complain about something.
Its become to much.

not even wednesday 13 songs are cheering me up...

='[

Ok,i have been home alone for the past 4 days,and ive had alot of time to think,throughout the whole time ive been pretty mellow,then i hit this huge emotional slide downward,i felt so down,lost,empty,frightened,it was all very overwhelming,then today my step father came home,i tried to be polite to him,since i havent seen him for days,he gave me a disgusted look,and walked past me,i immediately walked into my room and held back the tears,i realised i had been doing so well for the past four days,he makes me feel like im nothing,i dont have the right to open my mouth,i mean nothing,completely worthless,as i child i didnt know what it was like to be treated so small,yet i have become so used to this now,i am feeling like i should withdraw from everything,everyone,and keep entirely to myself,i realise i am letting him ruin me,and theres no escape for me,maybe he treats me this way because i really do mean nothing,i sometimes feel like the words he says hurt alot more then when he physcally hits me or throws something at me. that hasnt happened for a while,but i think when he makes me feel like im something so repulsive,it hurts more,i shall retreat to to reading books,and avoiding contact with him,just stay to myself and hope he goes away,or maybe leaves my life completely one day.

Sooo it appears i am sick. haha this is so horrible. i can barely breathe. I cant stand the way i feel,but ill have to cause i cant escape my body.
Today i was feeling like i couldnt take feeling this way so i went to get medication to make me feel better,this afternoon,i took it,i felt no change what so ever,i went and laid in bed with my box of tissues,and started feeling quite weird,then passed out asleep. i woke up read the box and it said 'contains lactose' i am lactose intollerant,yay. haha so i still feel horrible. but i shall find some other form of drug to make me feel better and oozey.
well this was to just whinge about my illness ha.

This week has been kind of Crazy. i can honestly say Im so tired. Its Friday night and i really couldnt be bothered going out,nor do i feel like doing anything this weekend.
Ive been so busy yet when i think about it i feel like ive done nothing...makes no sense...??? i dont know. I saw the most Adorable kittens,and yes i plan to buy one,since jaffa died i Still feel the need to have 3 cats. I miss him,poor kitty.
Ive been to byron bay several times this week to do some shopping,cause there is always better,more interesting things to buy there. Ive been eyeing off a top,went to get it today and it SOLD :(. owell,i shall snuff out another one somewhere else.
My digital camera has decided to Break....again... i wish i knew why it does this,it has spasms of retardedness.
But i plan to buy another one,when i have the funds for it.
My car is still not fixed,im finding it hard to get $500 to fix it. but it must be fixed sometime soon.
A job is what i need. and i shall be getting one soon,I HOPE?!?!
I cant think of many places i want to work in this town,but im going to have to try somewhere soon.
Eh this is about all this tired zombie like person can type out.
I shall be back however.

Summer is creeping upon us,im dreading this so much,Except summer storms cause theyre awesome.
i really am starting to think my pastey skin and makeup cant handle the heat AND summer isnt even here yet.
So many people enjoy summer,beach and sun and so on. Not me however. sand-Sticks to everything,i swear i have OCD.
Sun-Burns my precious skin and makes me looks like a boiled lobster,and i dont enjoy that. Beach-the sand,salt water and the fish,nuh-uh not happening. the only time i like ths beach is when i dont go further then the carpark. I may be Rediculous but this is my feelings on summer and beach. eh i shall stay in our air-con house. and only leave to an air-con car to go to an air-con store lol.
Thats all for now.

Its been a weird week.
im going to wharf.again.
bleh.

Ive had a long day,im tired and moody. HAHA,when i get moody i tend to be more sarcastic then anything else.
i just ate icecream and my stomach does not agree with this. grr. owell.
I have not had much sleep,so i doubt much that i say makes sense. eh.
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Today,i went driving,and managed not to hit any poles! yay! not only that,i didnt hit anything. haha this is new for me.
Im drinking my racist powerade and feeling ever so tired.
bleh.

Ive decided i need some things,ive needed these things for a while,i dont need them,i want them,but its most deffinetely a need.
3 Black photo frames.
Black candles (dont know how many yet).
Screenprinting ink/paint.
a whole heap of plain t'shirts.
Im feeling somewhat creative.
i need to charge the batteries for my digi camera.
The end of a nothingness entry.

Ive been bored the last few days.so i took this picture.

So i belong to a fair few sites,the following.



VampireFreaks

Darkstarlings

Stickam

Myspace



and vizow but i couldnt be bothered to put that here because i rarely check it.